In Tobias Wolff’s Say Yes, a central strain between the husband and wife is illuminated and never settled by the end of the story. The tension revolves around racism and the meaning of true love. In this story plot, point of view and irony reveal a married couple that becomes strangers.
The story is ironic. The husband says interracial couples should not marry because they have no hope of understanding each other. He ironically fails to see that he and Ann are having a hopeless failure to understand each other at the very same moment.
The husband is also left nameless by the author, emphasizing his lack of self-knowledge, and Ann’s inability to understand or truly know him.
Just as his views on interracial marriage reduce complex humans to simple colors that can never know each other, his failure to connect with his own wife in the end reduces her to a simple color moving through the dark. With the final words of the story, she becomes “a stranger” to him.
The ending suggests that both Ann and her husband are correct. The husband is correct that interracial couples can never truly know one another, but only because no one in any marriage can ever truly know their spouse. Ann, by this logic, is also correct that interracial couples should of course be allowed to marry, as their marriages are no more hopeless than those of any other couple.
What do you think of the ideas presented in the above passage? Do you agree or disagree? Why?
I agree the ideas.The husband said that he got along with the black but he could not accept be married with the black.So he is hypocritical but this character trait is different from his considerate.That is ironic.The author decides not to give the husband a name, which effectively emphasizes the husband's lack of self-awareness.Both the husband and Ann are right.Because they have a deep influence on culture,so we need look at their views critically.
I agree with this view. I believe that a good marriage is not based on whether the race is the same, but on the personality and habits of the husband and wife. If the two are very compatible, whether they are of different races or not, their marriage will be happy.Similarly, if two people are not compatible, even if they are of the same race or even the same region, the marriage will not necessarily be happy
Partly agree. The husband and the wife hold their opinions till the end. However, in terms of their relationship, the husband doesn't know how to shut up while the wife keeps silent and indifferent. That the two cannot tolerate different views put forward by each other may be the main reason for their failure in marriage.
I agree with these ideas, because they couldn't stand in the other side's perspective and view of the issue of racial marriage, both of them insisted on their own ideas and the wife's indifference, the husband's self-righteous understanding will become the driving factors of their marriage collapse.
I agree with the idea.Marriage should not be restricted because of their colour of skin.Her husband doesn't descriminate against blacks.But I think it's reasonable becasuse marry a person should consider many aspects not only the degree of understanding each other ,but your abilities,families and cultures and so on. On Ann's part, even if they do housework together and have a considerate husband,but her husband still doesn't know her.It's ironic.
I agree with this view. I believe that a good marriage is not based on whether the race is the same, but on the personality and habits of the husband and wife. If the two are very compatible, whether they are of different races or not, their marriage will be happy.Similarly, if two people are not compatible, even if they are of the same race or even the same region, the marriage will not necessarily be happy.
I agree with the idea.The husband thinks couples of different races can't really understand each other.But he doesn't realize that he and his wife can't understand each other either in the discussion.Just like strangers.This shows the husband has a deficiency in self - realization.In any marriage, it's really difficult for people to understand each other.
I agree with the idea.I believe that the longevity of a marriage requires that the husband and wife can understand and tolerate each other.The wife doesn't understand her husband's point of view, and the husband keeps reasoning with her. In the end, this won't solve the problems between them.
I agree this idea.The husband 'argument against iterracial marriage,he believes that partners in an interracial marriage can never truly understand each other.However,his marriage has also encountered a crisis,he and his wife also face an unbridgeable understanding gap.This is ironic.The author doesn't nam the husband,this is meant to make him stand in for the whole generation of white man back then.Both of their viewpoints have their rationality.The cultural background at that time influenced their thoughts.
I agree with this view. First of all, neither of them has put themselves in the other's shoes on this issue. Interracial marriage should not be discriminated against. The husband ignores this point. He ignores his wife's feelings because he is too much in pursuit of the truth, and the wife should not blindly turn his problem into a yes-or-no question. In my opinion, both of them are wrong. But from this argument, we can see that they do not fully know each other. Because the person who truly understands oneself must be oneself.
I don't think it's all correct. The view that no one in any marriage can ever truly know their spouse is wrong. The couple's problem can't on behalf of all the couples' problem. The problem with Ann and her husband lies in that her husband refuses to reflect on his own prejudice and his poor communication skills, pushing Ann further and further away. So the opinion can't represent all the people.
I agree with the ideas.The husband thinks things in his own way,doesn't understand his wife.He thinks different races can't understand each other.It is a narrow thought.He is too reasonable to consider things in other aspects.Ann faces this problem,she thinks though living togethrt for 30 years still is like strangers and doesn't understood each other.It makes her sad.
I agree with the wife's view that cross racial marriage is also possible. Because I believe that there is no such thing as skin color determining hierarchy in humans, and that every race should have the same rights. And in love, the only criterion to judge whether two people should get married is whether they love each other or not, not race.
I agree with this idea. People are independent individuals, and different upbringing environments lead to differences in personality and values. Therefore, no one in the world can fully understand another person, and no one in any marriage can truly understand their spouse. The only difference between cross racial marriage and same race marriage under this premise is that same race couples mostly grow up in the same cultural background, which makes it easier for them to understand each other than interracial couples But this does not mean that all couples of the same race know each other better than couples of different races.
I don't quite agree with the words in the above text.
I think the viewpoints of the husband and the wife are somewhat unreasonable to a certain extent. The husband is somewhat racist, but he doesn't notice it himself and even argues sophistically for it. The wife advocates racial equality and marital freedom, which is correct, but it is too big for her personally. She has already married a white person and keeps grasping this issue, which is somewhat stubborn. This racial issue is not applicable to their marriage at all. Due to these, the viewpoints of the two conflict, leading to a marital crisis. Thus, we can see that even a marriage that is not interracial can also have a crisis.
The difference in race cannot be used as a criterion for a harmonious marriage. The fundamental reason for the conflict between the two is that they cannot understand each other.
I agree with ideas. The wife and the husband always stood on their their own grounds. The husband was not really considerate, he always didn't know how to keep shut up when his wife was sad and kept indifference. They should be more torelate of the other and put themselves in the other's shoes and communicate more.
I agree with the point in the article. In a marriage, it is difficult for spouses to fully understand each other, whether they belong to the same race or different races. Interracial marriages are essentially the same as same-racial marriages. They all need to communicate and get along with each other to gradually deepen their understanding of each other. People of different races have the right to freely choose to enter the marriage hall. This freedom of choice should be respected and should not be subject to unreasonable restrictions.
I think this view is correct. Because in real life, regardless of whether the races are the same or not, it is very difficult for couples to fully understand each other.Moreover, there are no two identical people in the world. Everyone is unique, and there will be more or less differences in everyone's inner thoughts, backgrounds, life experiences, and ways of thinking. These can also be the reasons for communication barriers. For interracial couples, culture and background do have a certain impact. But on the other hand, people change over time. In a marriage, it's difficult for spouses to fully know every side of each other. Just like the couple in the story, they gradually became strangers. However, I believe that in a marriage, mutual tolerance and understanding between husband and wife are the best ways to solve various contradictions and conflicts.
I argree the ideas above.Because everyone has their own inner worlds and it is hardly to explore to others.We can't say we can truly know each other even if we have been together for many years.So for the interracial marriage are no more hopeless than those of any other people.
I agree with the idea.In this middle-aged marriage,the debate seems to be normal.At this time,the husband and the wife 's opinions are all reasonable.And their way to solve the problem also have something wrong,so I think in a marriage the both side should understand each other.And when they face some obstacles,they should calm themselves down and solve the problem through communicating.
Agree with him that in any marriage, spouses do not fully understand each other because they come from different backgrounds and have different levels of social cognition. In this article, reflecting subconscious cognitive biases from the marital relationship, the husband uses what he always thought was logic and reason to cover up his innermost cognitive biases, suggesting that he is not the so-called racist, yet his response to his wife is conditional, "If i......" This condition reveals that his condition of equality is conditional. The wife is the emotional side, the dialogue between the two people is misplaced to a certain extent, the husband's question to the wife is a kind of subconscious helplessness and answer, and escape his real idea.
I agree with this view. No one can fully understand each other, and this is also the case in marriage. At the same time, in the face of love, different skin colors should not be a barrier. A relatively perfect marriage requires couples to understand and tolerate each other. The husband's belief that people of different skin colors cannot get married reflects his racist concept.
I agree with the viewpoints in the paragraph. The husband believes that interracial couples can never truly understand each other, but after he quarreled with his wife, they still didn't truly understand each other either. This reflects the common predicament of human beings in emotional communication and mutual understanding. The wife believes that interracial couples can get married and there is a possibility of mutual understanding and happiness. Different cultural backgrounds might bring about richer communication and integration.
I agree with the above viewpoints. Firstly, I don't think the wife's idea is wrong. She yearns for her husband not to change his love for her just because she might be black. I believe there is no right or wrong in such a pursuit itself. Secondly, the husband's hesitation doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love his wife. Because it's undeniable that interracial marriages can bring about a great many problems.
I agree with this view because I think that in marriage, whether the partners are of different or the same ethnic background, it is very rare for them to truly understand each other. And in this article, neither of my wife and I was wrong. But I think there are some issues where he didn't have an accurate answer.
I agree with the idea, because I think a permanent marriage should depend on love, not skin color. In this passage, the husband says he gets along well with black people, but he couldn’t marry black people. The husband’s perspective that different racial people couldn’t totally understand each other is correct. But he couldn’t put himself in his wife’s shoes to understand his wife. And for the wife, she is correct to consider different racial people could marry, shouldn’t be restrict by skin color, but she should know interracial couples can never truly know one another.
As the above passage,The two are all reasonable.But I prefer the husband's opinon.I agree that the two persons who have different cultures can not be a couple,let alone different races.It can be said that they have a big gap between cultural background, lifestyle,custom or even social class.One couple will spontaneously feel uneqaul at some point and the other might not that meaning.They have quarrels with ease and can't truly understand each other.
I agree it. The story ends with the two people in a quiet, dark room, without any words, as if they have forgiven each other, and they become as good as before the next day. In the story, the wife is a bit pushy, trying to get a positive answer from her husband, while the husband sticks to his views. Both of their behaviors are too extreme. On this quiet night, the husband gives in, and the wife stops pushing. It's obvious that they understand but don't agree with each other's opinions. However, based on they loved each other , they choose to forgive .
I agree it. The story ends with the two people in a quiet, dark room, without any words, as if they have forgiven each other, and they become as good as before the next day. In the story, the wife is a bit pushy, trying to get a positive answer from her husband, while the husband sticks to his views. Both of their behaviors are too extreme. On this quiet night, the husband gives in, and the wife stops pushing. It's obvious that they understand but don't agree with each other's opinions. However, based on they loved each other , they choose to forgive .
I don't agree. People of different races will inevitably have different personalities due to differences in culture and habits, and there will be some obstacles to truly understanding each other. But that doesn't mean they won't get to know each other
I agree with this idea. From the husband's point of view, there are great cultural differences in interracial marriage, which can lead to differences of views and opinions between couples after their marriage. At the same time, interracial marriage should be prepared to be disapproved of by the outside world. From the wife's point of view, marriage should be free, people can choose marriage freely, regardless of race. Besides, different cultures don't certainly affect communication between couples. People who love you will naturally want to know everything about you. So I don't think there something wrong with the husband and wife, because their starting points are different.
I agree with this view. I believe that a good marriage is not based on whether the race is the same, but on the personality and habits of the husband and wife. If the two are very compatible, whether they are of different races or not, their marriage will be happy.Similarly, if two people are not compatible, even if they are of the same race or even the same region, the marriage will not necessarily be happy
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